guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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