so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
