There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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