Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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