i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
