i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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