im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
