It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my being single is dangerous.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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