the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
