that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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