just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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