What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together