Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
