I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
