Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is. http://tfl.nu/r3y5
  Replies (8) Good night (837) Bad night (1455)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control. http://tfl.nu/7f4i
  Replies (70) Good night (1067) Bad night (2788)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please http://tfl.nu/2mvs
  Replies (26) Good night (5740) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth http://tfl.nu/plwz
  Replies (47) Good night (1246) Bad night (5663)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row. http://tfl.nu/sqmw
  Replies (9) Good night (4811) Bad night (1501)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I will fight anything that is not spinning right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I will fight anything that is not spinning right now http://tfl.nu/z2tv
  Replies (9) Good night (2640) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  my self respect just called, its having a good time without me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): my self respect just called, its having a good time without me http://tfl.nu/iprn
  Replies (9) Good night (3097) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (420): View more from

  I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (420): I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me. http://tfl.nu/1hem
  Replies (5) Good night (2934) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end! http://tfl.nu/gq8b
  Replies (2) Good night (1112) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace http://tfl.nu/va4a
  Replies (8) Good night (1786) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers. http://tfl.nu/zbe6
  Replies (2) Good night (919) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again http://tfl.nu/3l87
  Replies (0) Good night (765) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it. http://tfl.nu/vpoa
  Replies (1) Good night (927) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Also, beer. Big fan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Also, beer. Big fan. http://tfl.nu/g295
  Replies (1) Good night (710) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman. http://tfl.nu/nljs
  Replies (5) Good night (287) Bad night (657)

Randomize