Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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