so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
