My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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