what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
