This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
