I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
