i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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