is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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