I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
