So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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