Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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