Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I need a burrito and a hug.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
