therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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