Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
