I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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