Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
ttyl tear gas
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
