I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
