he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
