Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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