I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
