I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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