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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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