Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize