I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
