I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
