I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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