Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
