Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
