talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
