the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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