I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You may now shotgun with the bride
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
