he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
