Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize