The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
