that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
