remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
