worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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