she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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