Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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