I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
