the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
