are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
