I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
