I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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