at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
