Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
