she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
