it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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