capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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