and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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