All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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