piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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