Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
