My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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