So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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